André de la Porte: A man of compassion and devotion

The comfort of a story is that each of the characters stick to their roles. The hero is admired for his courage, outstanding achievements and noble qualities. The villain is a bad guy in a cape lurking in the shadows, driving a cruel and evil plot to oppose the hero. Your self-death was a militant coup. Unexpected. Devastating. Our challenge is not to buy into the lie of character assassination. You did not become the villain. You are still the kind, compassionate, devoted man you were. It is our choice to remember you like that. When we struggle with feelings of betrayal, we are angry at the injustice of not having you in our storyline anymore. Today I remind myself that your values did not change, because of a decision made in a moment of mad torment. The villain is still the grim reaper with his evil plot of chronic depression that stole your hope.

Today I yearn to take you for coffee at the local bakery and see you grin with delight when you bite into their “Pasteis de Nata.” I will even bear it if you slurp your hot coffee. I am dreaming of expanding my sanctuary at the sea. My Scripture for the year is from Nehemiah: “Arise and build.” How I would love to show you the plans and soundboard ideas with you. I want to build a sunny bedroom and office, from where I can Zoom, overlooking the beautiful green conservation belt. I need to see the sunrise every morning. The announcement of a new day with new hope and opportunities. Next to it I visualise a living area with a built-in braai where our son’s in law can enjoy roasting meat, while our grandchildren play and their mothers take a nap while Granny is on duty. At night, we will all look up at the stars through the sky- light and remember you. Stargazing invited you to look up – seeing higher and further than the now of your pain. Like the wise men who followed the stars to acknowledge the birth of King Jesus, I will always associate you with the stars that had you in such awe of your Creator. Your legacy continues to shape my life. When I train, I work from the foundation of how we trained together. It is now just a different field of expertise, inviting others to befriend and understand their emotions. You will always be my hero, even when I am angry at you for leaving us.

Psalm 8:3-4 “When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers, the moon and the stars, which You have ordained, what is man that You are mindful of him and the son of man that You visit him”? Daniel 12:3 “Those who are wise will shine like the brightness of the heavens, and those who lead many to righteousness, like the stars for ever and ever.” I miss you my Beloved. My shining star.

Annette de la Porte